Struggling to breathe

Recently I had a pretty scary experience with my daughter. She had been struggling with a cold and it had began to settle on her chest. One of the difficulties of children with Down Syndrome is their ‘pipes’ are usually a little smaller and so they can have colds move to their chest easier with a more dangerous consequence. As I sat and watched my daughter lying on me and having a second nap of the day (which is almost unheard of!) I started to worry. She was really laboured in her breathing. Every time she breathed it took the whole of her body to enable it and it was clearly getting worse. It wasn’t long before we were taking a very poorly little girl to accident and emergency. It was a very distressing night with lots of tests, lots of treatment and a good dose of oxygen. Thankfully the little one is back to her usual self and is doing well, but reflecting on the experience I have learned something about the nature of God.

In the bible, in its original translation, the name for God or Lord is Yahweh (spelt YHVH). It means creator, however the meaning is connected to life and breath. The ancient Jews believed the pronouncing of the word was akin to the sound of breathing – that God was the very breath that we breathe. This is also seen in scripture. Job 33:4 says:

The new testament goes further to say that this breath is the Holy Spirit living in us. In John’s gospel we see this beautiful encounter between Jesus and his disciples:

The Holy Spirit is our Breath, is the thing that gives us life, that keeps us going and that gives us the power to live a life victorious.

We all go through seasons where life overwhelms us and it feels like we are unable to ‘breathe.’ We might be facing situations that seem insurmountable, the enemy might seem to be winning, intimidating us with his schemes and plans. Everywhere we look we might see things take our breathe away and make us believe “I Can’t”

This is a season I am currently walking through. There have many days where I have felt like my daughter did that day. It seems to take all of my body’s effort simply to draw breath, and some days it feels like that breath simply won’t come.

I have recently been reading an amazing book series called ‘Sensible Shoes’ by Sharon Garlough Brown (available Here) and an interaction between two characters has helped me in times when I feel like I simply ‘can’t breathe’

‘That kind of a weakness is a place of blessing, Meg. It’s a gift to be able to say, ‘I can’t, but God can!’” Katherine peered intently in Meg’s face. “Actually That’s one of my favourite prayers. I’ll inhale saying the words ‘I can’t’ and exhale saying the words ‘You can Lord,’ over and over again throughout the day. Those simple words help keep me going in hope and faith when the way gets hard. And sometimes it gets very hard, doesn’t it?’

During this ‘breathless’ season I have taken this idea and when I am starting to feel overwhelmed I breathe out ‘I can’t and breath in ‘God can’ reminding myself that the air I breathe is God’s holy presence and that:

Today I pray that for those who are walking through a similar season where breathing is hard and they feel that ‘I cant’ that they will be reminded and encouraged to draw the breath of Yaweh and declare ‘God Can’