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Showing posts from 2018

My Word for the Year and how God spoke to me through Mr Tumble!!

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Every year I ask God for a word to focus on throughout the year. I find that rather than it being one of this fads that you pay lip service to but never actually do, or a New Years resolution that is forgotten by 7th January, it is actually something I return to time and time again, and a thread I see woven into my story.  Last year I was given the word Joy! What a word! I created a piece of folded book art with the word so I wouldn’t lose sight of it. I looked at exactly what biblical joy meant and in the season we were in, it was a word of hope I clung to waiting for my miracle.  Looking back on my year it has been jam-packed with joy. There have been moments of overwhelming joy- the kind that takes your breath away and brings to your eyes, and there have been moments of choosing deep joy that goes beyond circumstance and rests on his word.  With all this in mind, I have been praying into a word for the coming year. I am always amazed at the way God speaks to

Changing seasons

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Here in the uk for the past months, we have been experiencing a heatwave. The media has been telling us that it is likely to be hotter than even the great summer of 1976. I have absolutely loved it. Every opportunity I have had, I have been swinging in my hammock, listening to podcasts and sipping on mint tea! Although some people have really struggled, wishing for rain and remembering cooler days gone by. I have been making the most of every moment of summer, not quite sure when it all might end. Through this time God had been speaking to me really clearly about seasons both physically and spiritually. I enjoy each of the seasons and believe that each of them brings a different beauty and joy. I would like to think the same is true for the seasons of my life. I try to see joy and beauty in each of these seasons too. I love the verse in Ecclesiastes that reminds us: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:” ‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1‬

Reflections on Women And God Weekend

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Last weekend I had the privilege of attending and serving on the team for Women and God weekend (or WAG weekend!). This is a weekend conference run by The Salvation Army with 300 women of all ages learning what it means to live a life sold out for God… And what an amazing weekend it was For me the weekend was full of service, ministry, knock-you-off-your-feet God moments and coffee! On Friday morning before the ladies arrived, we took time to pray over names, situations and words from God, and this set the tone for the spirit-filled weekend ahead.   I had also been asked to lead a seminar/workshop on the Saturday afternoon entitled ‘Grace Through Adversity.’ Based on Psalm 34, we talked about the importance of sharing our stories of how God has moved in our times of difficulty. I took some time to share my story of grace through adversity and my walk through infertility. We had a chance to reflect on those things we have been through. We shared Isaiah 61:3 and exchanged

The Coffee and the Cross Stitch - Hope Renewed

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Throughout my journey of infertility I have learnt so much. I have learnt that he holds me in the hardest time, I have learnt that he if faithful and will provide you with the love and support that you need to endure each trial. I have learnt that his timing is perfect, even when I just don’t get it!! However one thing I have really struggled with through this time, one small word that holds so much power, that small word is HOPE. In my darkest days I have failed to see any hope at all, and on my easier days I have simply been too afraid to have hope in case I might get my hopes up in order to have them dashed again by the familiar sight of a negative pregnancy test. The bible verse Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” was so true in some of the areas of my life, and although God was doing amazing things through my story and in my life, I still felt I was lacking in hope that God really was going to give me a child. Last October, a beautiful sis

The pink rose of Mother's Day

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For those of you who have read my previous blog, you will know some of my feelings surrounding Mother’s Day and my decision to not only attend church but to share in the service on that day. I wanted to share with you how it went and how God spoke to me in a beautiful way through it.  As part of the service we wanted to provide a space for grief and lament as well as a space to celebrate. We had a display of white roses on our mercy seat (the place of prayer) and as we played a beautiful song people had the opportunity to take a rose (or as many as they wanted) and place it in a vase to represent a person/opportunity that they remember on this day. It was an absolutely amazing, spirit filled moment.  As a celebration of the mother figures in our life we gave everyone a red rose. In the morning, as I was preparing the roses by attaching a bible verse to each rose, I found one rose that didn’t seem to be as ‘attractive’ as the others. The stalk didn’t seem as strong as

Why you will find me in church this Mother's Day

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Mother’s Day is approaching. For some people it is a time full of joy and celebration, for others, however, it can be a horrendous time full of sorrow and pain. I fall into the second category. For the past few years, as we have been ttc it has got harder and harder.  For a while, as a single woman Mother’s Day was tough as it reminded me of a future I wasn’t sure that I would have. Then when I met Paul I suddenly became step-mother to three teenage girls and it brought a whole new dimension. Mother’s Day at church was filled with conflicted loyalty for the girls and a reminder that I wasn’t a real mum! I remember one year, one of the girls going to get me the obligatory ‘Mother’s Day gift’ whilst another having stern words with her that I shouldn’t receive a gift as I wasn’t really her mum and that their mum was at home expecting a gift. The whole while I felt terribly guilty that I had put everyone in such a position, happy that I was seen in some way as a mum and sad that t

Finding your tribe

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I have seen lots of posts on social media recently about finding your tribe, posts like this one: Being completely honest it has challenged me. Through our four and a half year journey through infertility I have lost many friends, distancing myself from people in order to numb the pain, hiding behind the shame that I may never be ‘good enough  to be a mum’ rather  than being vulnerable with the people who knew me best. I’m sure many people in similar situations can identify. However… Recently God has been really speaking to me about community and has started to point out to me exactly who my ‘tribe’ is.  1 Corinthians 12:25-26 (the passion translation) says: 'He has done this intentionally so that every member would look after the others with mutual concern, and so that there will be no division in the body. In that way, whatever happens to one member happens to all. If one suffers, everyone suffers. If one is honoured, everyone rejoices.'

And on the seventh day... We Rest!

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I am in the middle of an interesting week of training at The Salvation Army's William Booth training college. I have been surrounded by some amazing colleagues who serve, like us, as Territorial Envoys, running Salvation Army churches up and down the country. This is our third year at our annual seminar and this year I have been shocked to see some gifted pastors, who in previous year had been full of passion and zeal, looking exhausted. In conversation they have admitted that amongst other things, they aren't finding time to take  their day off.  I'm am passionate about keeping the sabbath, and seeing my friends and colleagues so tired prompted me once again to consider its importance to us in a society and job that never seems to stop. We know that God created the world in 6 days and on the 7th day he rested. Yesterday one of  our soeakers very briefly posed the question "did God really need to rest on the 7th day?" The answer of course is no, but h

finding joy in the struggle

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"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that testing your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything"  James 1:2-4 As you know, this year I asked God to give me a word to take with me through 2018, and I he gave me the word Joy. I decided to take some time to study what exactly Joy means and where we can see it used in the bible. The verse from James was one I came across immediately. At first I skipped straight past it, as I wanted my word to mean that everything in the next year will go great and that I might have a rest from trials and struggles. However,  I soon felt the Lord lead me gently back to it.  As I began to really get to grips with this verse, I started to question how joyful I actually am, and whether it manifests itself in times of trial in my own life.  James calls us to consider it 'pure joy' i