Reminding myself not to worry!

 

A couple of weeks ago I had surgery and while it wasn't too serious, it was a bigger op than expected and recovery has been quite rough! I am someone who is always on the go and this last year has been pretty hectic for me, so to go from of all the responsibilities of work, study, being the primary carer for my daughter, keeping the house going and loads of other stuff, to absolutely nothing was a real shock to the system in many ways. 

My recovery means doing very little and that is not something that comes easy to me! I found that soon after my operation, fear, worry and anxiety quite easily set in. One particular day a week into recovery, after a bad night’s sleep, I experienced anxiety wash over me in waves and I began to worry about everything. About all the study I needed to do, all the jobs in the garden I couldn’t do, the work emails piling up and the people behind them and whether people understood how truly awful I was feeling. 

I tried to counter all this by listening to a worship playlist, and I was struck by the words of a song by my new favourite Christian singer Lucy Grimble, (you can listen here: Perfect timing )

“Make me like the sparrow, happy to be fed by the hand of God;

Make me like the Lilies, light and gentle, calm and unafraid, content to grow where they stand”

The words brought tears to my eyes and reminded me of Luke 12: 25-28

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

 “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labour or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!

This is a passage I often return to, but as  I re-read it, I tried to commit it to heart, vowing to return to it whenever I felt overwhelmed in coming days (which was an is a lot) 

As I continued to recover I have been able to do some bits and bobs of crafting, and one morning while meditating on this scripture I felt like I needed a reminder to return to  in the coming days and even the weeks and months as things begin to get busy again. I needed a reminder not to be anxious but trust in God. 

Over the following days I began to put the idea and scripture into embroidery - decorating an old denim jacket and skirt with ‘wildflowers.’ As I did this I prayed, meditated and mulled over God’s promises, casting my cares on him. The results look pretty good and the effect on my heart and mind has been good too. 

As I continue to recover, I am trying not to worry and keep giving it all to God, reminding myself of his goodness and provision and in the days to come when I begin to feel overwhelms with anxiety, I can put on my jacket or skirt and remind myself that I do not need to worry, but can give it all to God.