An Adventure in Ministry

I have to make a confession…this year I have really struggled with mothers day. In the past few years I have been really active in helping others who struggle with the day, creating resources to be used by leaders in The Salvation Army, organising alternative mothers day services for those who find it hard, and praying with and for women in the support group I ran for christians walking through infertility. Most years I lead our church services on mother’s day, however this year I have to admit I would much rather lie in bed under a duvet than celebrate! Mothers day is full of complicated feelings. I am so blessed to have an amazing mum who is always there for me and a great example of what an amazing mum should be! However I always battle the feeling of only being ‘half a mum’ I have three beautiful daughters who I love deeply, however they have a mum who loves them, and I have seen the conflict in them in mother’s days past. I have the most beautiful little girl who came home five ye...

  Very soon, people in the UK will be celebrating Mother’s day. This day is difficult for many people, for many reasons. There are those who no longer have their mums, mums who no longer have their children, women longing to be mums, those whose mum’s weren’t always what they should have been, to name just a few.  For me Mother’s day has been a challenge for many years. I am step-mum to three beautiful women and I first really realised how tricky it can be when I overheard two of them having an argument in church one Mother’s day about whether they should give me a gift if it would upset their mum. This difficulty around mothers day grew more complicated as year after year I didnt hear the patter of feet and that little voice called me mum. When my mother in love (my mother in law!) was promoted to glory there was an extra layer of grief. Now as an adoptive mum, the joy of motherhood on mother’s day is tinged with grief as there is a mum out there grieving the loss of her daug...

For those of you who have read my previous blog, you will know some of my feelings surrounding Mother’s Day and my decision to not only attend church but to share in the service on that day. I wanted to share with you how it went and how God spoke to me in a beautiful way through it.  As part of the service we wanted to provide a space for grief and lament as well as a space to celebrate. We had a display of white roses on our mercy seat (the place of prayer) and as we played a beautiful song people had the opportunity to take a rose (or as many as they wanted) and place it in a vase to represent a person/opportunity that they remember on this day. It was an absolutely amazing, spirit filled moment.  As a celebration of the mother figures in our life we gave everyone a red rose. In the morning, as I was preparing the roses by attaching a bible verse to each rose, I found one rose that didn’t seem to be as ‘attractive’ as the others. The stalk didn’t seem as ...

Mother’s Day is approaching. For some people it is a time full of joy and celebration, for others, however, it can be a horrendous time full of sorrow and pain. I fall into the second category. For the past few years, as we have been ttc it has got harder and harder.  For a while, as a single woman Mother’s Day was tough as it reminded me of a future I wasn’t sure that I would have. Then when I met Paul I suddenly became step-mother to three teenage girls and it brought a whole new dimension. Mother’s Day at church was filled with conflicted loyalty for the girls and a reminder that I wasn’t a real mum! I remember one year, one of the girls going to get me the obligatory ‘Mother’s Day gift’ whilst another having stern words with her that I shouldn’t receive a gift as I wasn’t really her mum and that their mum was at home expecting a gift. The whole while I felt terribly guilty that I had put everyone in such a position, happy that I was seen in some way as a mum and sad th...