An Adventure in Ministry

  This week as part of our Holy week celebration we, as a church will be participating in a passover seder, remembering the meal that Jesus would have had with his disciples shortly before he was arrested. Although my husband will be leading the experience and I will be at home looking after our daughter, I have been sourcing the food and helping with the preparation, and I have found it fascinating.  The passover festival is one that can be summed up as bittersweet. Bitter as they remember the Israelites time of slavery and oppression and sweet as they remember the freedom from it and their great escape. In fact bittersweet is a term that fits the Israelites well, and throughout the scripture we see times of bitterness intermigled with times of great sweetness. At the passover sedar the food that it eaten can also be described as bittersweet and at places, food are combined together to give exactly that experience. Bitter herbs called Maror (usually Horseradish) are dipped in...

  This week is the annual baby loss awareness week, where we remember the little ones we never got to meet and the lives that were never lived. While this has never been my experience personally as my walk through infertility has meant I have never been pregnant, it is still a topic so very close to my heart. I have so many friends and family members who have had experience of baby loss and I have sat with them as we have grieved the loss, not only of a life, but of dreams, and hopes too .   Some people choose to share their story of loss while others choose to grieve privately, and I am always surprised at how many people around me have walked through such tragic experiences. This morning as I was praying for those who will find this week a difficult one, God began to reveal something of his heart for them and the burden that they carry.   Psalm 34:18 says:   The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.   Maybe you are f...

I have written about friendships and community pretty regularly on my blog and I’m writing about it again today as I feel it is so important in the discussion of infertility and generally in challenges people face. One of the main words I would use to describe infertility is ‘lonely’. There were dark times I felt completely alone, that no one understood me, not my friends, nor my family and not even God! Thankfully those days were few and far between and I’m a sure that finding a community to share with has certainly helped with that.  When we first started trying to start our family, pregnancy announcements and photos of happy new families didn’t really bother me too much, but as time went on it took more and more effort to be happy for others when they received what I desire.  As the sorrow continued to wash over me, in honesty, my heart became harder. In self preservation, for my physical and mental health, I started cutting myself off from those around me ...

Throughout my journey of infertility I have learnt so much. I have learnt that he holds me in the hardest time, I have learnt that he if faithful and will provide you with the love and support that you need to endure each trial. I have learnt that his timing is perfect, even when I just don’t get it!! However one thing I have really struggled with through this time, one small word that holds so much power, that small word is HOPE. In my darkest days I have failed to see any hope at all, and on my easier days I have simply been too afraid to have hope in case I might get my hopes up in order to have them dashed again by the familiar sight of a negative pregnancy test. The bible verse Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” was so true in some of the areas of my life, and although God was doing amazing things through my story and in my life, I still felt I was lacking in hope that God really was going to give me a child. Last October, a beautiful sis...