An Adventure in Ministry

  I have been thinking for some time about sharing a little bit about what has been going on in my life over the last couple of months. Some of you will know that it has been a roller coaster ride with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  Over the last 12 years my husband and I have been walking through infertility, being diagnosed with unexplained infertility after tests 11 years ago. Through this time I have experienced great pain and grief, but also great blessings and joy. I have learned so much about God, who he is and who I am in him. God also led us to adopt and 7 years ago  We brought our beautiful daughter home.  In the years that have followed we have prayed for and believed that God would do a miracle and I would get pregnant naturally, and recently my prayers were answered! It took 5 tests for it to sink in! We praised the Lord and continued to pray for a happy, healthy and non-descript pregnancy.  However, on my 40th birthday I began to not...

I have to make a confession…this year I have really struggled with mothers day. In the past few years I have been really active in helping others who struggle with the day, creating resources to be used by leaders in The Salvation Army, organising alternative mothers day services for those who find it hard, and praying with and for women in the support group I ran for christians walking through infertility. Most years I lead our church services on mother’s day, however this year I have to admit I would much rather lie in bed under a duvet than celebrate! Mothers day is full of complicated feelings. I am so blessed to have an amazing mum who is always there for me and a great example of what an amazing mum should be! However I always battle the feeling of only being ‘half a mum’ I have three beautiful daughters who I love deeply, however they have a mum who loves them, and I have seen the conflict in them in mother’s days past. I have the most beautiful little girl who came home five ye...

  One of the things I love the most about Christmas is the food! There are so many delicious things to eat and drink over Christmas and I find myself guarding the cupboards and fridge in the build up declaring “You Can’t Eat that…It’s for Christmas!” This year God has been challenging me and my thinking of advent and in a funny way it has changed the way I consider all those Christmas treats!  Advent is a season of waiting and is all about awaiting Christmas and the birth of Jesus. Throughout this time we wait with anticipation and expectancy, and there seems to be a stillness in the waiting. This is often contrasted sharply with the preparation, the busyness and ‘doing’ of sharing the news about the coming of Jesus.  For many years I have found this a really difficult tension. I feel guilty about the ever, growing to do list if I slow down to the advent rhythm of waiting  or even stop for a while. I often feel too, however, that I am failing to wait well if I go abo...

This week is baby loss awareness week. It is a time when we remember all the precious lives that are no longer with us and encourage men and women to talk about their experiences. It is a time to remember, grieve and seek comfort. While this has not been my own personal experience, having journeyed through infertility for over 10 years and through my ministry working with women walking through infertility and baby loss, I have supported lots of people through the grief and pain that is experienced. This year I have had the immense privilege of being asked to speak at the town’s annual baby loss service and to help put together an evening that will help people to remember their loved ones and grieve their loss.  As I sat thinking about and preparing for the service, I was considering the comfort that God brings to us in our grief. One of the pictures painted in the bible about God’s comfort is the idea of us sheltering under his wings. This is something that I often come back to whe...

  It is now the back to school season With photographs taken at doors And wide happy smiles in clothes still too big And kids who are babies no more! As a woman who longs to have children This time is so conflicting and tough For I long to be the one taking photos As I have waited for long enough! Each picture is ever so painful And sometimes it's so hard to breath As the grief and the sadness they overwhelm And I think that it might never leave. Each picture brings a great sense of longing And so many what-could-have-beens And I wonder what it must feel like To be the one inside that scene But I choose not to sit in the bitterness  Or the jealousy rising inside And thank God for each little miracle On earth or on the other side And I feel the Lord’s arms bringing comfort  And hear him whisper so clear That he knows just how I am feeling  And that he is drawing near.  And though the pain is still bubbling And the grief won't fully go away I know that I never wil...

I have just returned from the most amazing weekend at the Riverbank conference, with women connected to The Salvation Army from all over the country. God’s presence was tangible, the worship was powerful and the teaching was Holy Spirit inspired. This is the second post in a series of what God spoke to me while I was there (You can find my first post here: Tales From the Riverbank: Singing at Midnight ) If you were there too I would love to hear what God revealed to you, I would love to include you on a guest blog post! If you weren't there I pray that a little of the riverbank will flow into your heart and you might just sign up to join us next year! On the Saturday morning of the riverbank conference we listened to Commissioner Debbie Horwood as she brought us truths about God’s great compassion, and there was something she said that completely and utterly floored me! She spoke about how she has been doing a deep dive on the word used for compassion in the Old Testament - the wor...

  This week as part of our Holy week celebration we, as a church will be participating in a passover seder, remembering the meal that Jesus would have had with his disciples shortly before he was arrested. Although my husband will be leading the experience and I will be at home looking after our daughter, I have been sourcing the food and helping with the preparation, and I have found it fascinating.  The passover festival is one that can be summed up as bittersweet. Bitter as they remember the Israelites time of slavery and oppression and sweet as they remember the freedom from it and their great escape. In fact bittersweet is a term that fits the Israelites well, and throughout the scripture we see times of bitterness intermigled with times of great sweetness. At the passover sedar the food that it eaten can also be described as bittersweet and at places, food are combined together to give exactly that experience. Bitter herbs called Maror (usually Horseradish) are dipped in...